you know what’s funny? i’m writing a paper about how trying to recreate the past will not bring you happiness when i’m doing that very same thing. just the thought of us being the way we used to be makes me so happy. my best days are when i’m with him, acting like we were together again. but i know i’m just hurting myself. but i can’t help it, i wish i was strong enough to just let him go so i can be happy for once.
he builds my hopes up, he tells me all the things i wanna hear. it’s like heaven for 30 minutes. then we part, and he doesn’t want anything to do with me. he doesn’t want me to leave but he doesn’t want to be too attached. it’s only one or the other.
“i’m picking you over her” those very few words made me the happiest girl ever. knowing that he wants me over someone that has made him happy since our break up. but then he tells me he can’t stop kissing her. he doesn’t want to hurt her. but yet he cares about more. but still he doesn’t stop doing stuff with her. he tells me that i’m much better than her and that he loves me, IN LOVE with me. i want him to show me for once, i don’t want him to say it to me. i’ve been miserable because i made myself miserable because i’m so sorry for i did. look at me now, i’ve become the other girl.
clearly trying to make what was happen now never works.
